I catch myself spending an inordinate amount of time just staring at my babies. Do all mothers do this? Because I don't remember doing it so much with Easton and Evi. I love watching them scootch across the carpet to reach a toy, and how they grab toys away from each other, which sometimes makes them scream, and sometimes they just roll with it. I love how Kylie will army crawl to me, pull herself onto her knees beside me, and just smile and bonk me with her forehead. I love how Livy's eyes get so sparkly with excitement whenever her big brother or sister come around, and how musical her laugh is when I tickle her. Almost everything they do is adorable and endearing.
Sometimes I wonder if Easton got the bumb deal. I was so nervous and inexperienced as a new mom. I was worried about making any mistakes and handled him like he was made of glass. I worry that he sensed some of my anxiety. With the twins, I feel like I've gotten most of the kinks out of the system, and I can spend more time just enjoying them for who they are. It makes me happy for the twinners, but feeling incredibly guilty for Easton. Let's just say a lot of my prayers at night are for the atonement to fill any gaps in my parenting so my kids won't sustain any permanent damage.
2 comments:
ohh, you are doing a great job, i am sure. you have great kids, what little i know of them so far. i find myself doing the exact type of thing with william. i am amazed at all he does and I can just watch his little mind at work everyday absorbing the world around him. he is such a joy!! i used to not get that when people would say, kids are a joy! but he has helped me with that. i am glad my other kids are older so i can focus on enjoying him and have some of the experience i need to just be relaxed about stuff. (although, surprisingly some stuff you just still worry about). keep doing what you are doing!! you are amazing....are things getting busier with them moving more??? lol, good luck!!
I think most moms are the same with their first borns. My oldest was reared to the letter according to what I read in books. When my middle child came along I felt more confident and raised him a mixture between "the rules" and my own style. When my youngest was born, we raised him our style. As they have gotten older, we raised all them our own style and I cant remember the last time I picked up a parenting book. If I have a question, I can usually rely on my friends' advice or my own common sense. Honestly, I think I have gotten too soft and need to work with them all a little bit more.
Hey, what is the name of the blog you were telling me about? Email me.
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